a lot of shit has been going down..mostly because of me. I hurt the most important person to me.. i hurt him really bad, and its hard to live with myself knowing how much pain ive caused him. We've been broken up for month now..and everyday im not getting better.. i may be getting worse. I did quit drugs, pills, alc, and cutting..even wishing to die.. but lately..after *BLANKS* recent suicide attempt..or threat... i just fell back into the hole...
Falling isnt fun..mostly when you feel alone. I feel as if my friends are getting sick of me alwyas being down.. i try to cheer up..but i cant do it. Im losing my two best friends.. (Zack..joey)... im losing the ex bf... im losing my new crush.. i lost an old and good friend... ( im sorry metro..)
Things are getting way too scary.... way to hard for me to handle.. im getting sick of everything i caused.. last night wasnt fun. Did you know, i was so close to offing myself. Offing, funny word isnt it. Sounds so... innocent...harmless, yet it means something so powerful...
i guess i dont know why im posting this, its kind of pointless eh? i guess its my way of venting to someone yet no-one.